We try to convince ourselves that we do not matter enough. Our decisions affect no one but those closest to us. We make those decisions to better their lives and maybe what is left of ours. This is why we do the things we do.
We tell ourselves no one is looking. No one else really cares. No one ever seemed to care before. No one will care now. So it is alright. The decision has to be made.
We try to believe we are giving into a temporary situation. We will not be changed. We can go back to who we were when we need to go back. We are not changing at all. We will be fine. Everybody will see.
In the meantime, we learn to pray. We have not prayed for years.
We did not see that coming.